i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
