if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
