false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
