Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
pop tarts are not kleenex
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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