But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
