Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is Oprah even human
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
