I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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