yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
