i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
