she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
