During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
