sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
