My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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