My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
