Porn is love you can see.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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