I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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