she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
