I'm going to jail i love you
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Send help, water and tortillas.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
