why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
