shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
