thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
