i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
