i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
