Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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