Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
sex in a hospital.. check
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
