Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
