Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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