I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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