You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
