i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
NoShamevember. You game?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I did not marry a roomba.
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