My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
vagina is talking i cant
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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