im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
