How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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