I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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