Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
