I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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