I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
