You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
