ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
