So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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