Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
