I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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