Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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