That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
