I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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