Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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