We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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