hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
