i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i drank out of a bidet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
