just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
